Getting a loved one evaluated for dementia, especially if they are resistant, can be hard although it’s crucial for their well-being. These tips can help you and your loved one get the help they need.

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Approach the discussion with empathy and understanding:

• Acknowledge their feelings. Understand that the idea of being evaluated can be frightening or upsetting. Express that you’re concerned about their well-being and that the evaluation is about ensuring their overall health.
• Use  "I" statements. Instead of saying, "You need to see a  doctor," try saying, "I’m worried about you, and I think it  would be a good idea to talk to a doctor."

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Involve a Trusted Third Party:

• Leverage other relationships. A loved one may be more receptive to advice from someone else they trust, such as a family friend, a pastor, or another relative.
• Speak  to their doctor. If they have a regular physician, you might want to inform the doctor about your concerns beforehand. The doctor can then bring it up as part of a routine check-up.

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Frame It as a Routine Check-Up:

• Normalize the process. Suggest that everyone of a certain age should have  regular check-ups to stay healthy. This approach can make it seem less about dementia and more about general health.
• Ask  for subtle screening. Some doctors can perform brief cognitive assessments during routine visits, without specifically labeling it as a dementia evaluation.

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Discuss the Benefits of Early Diagnosis: Focusing on empowerment, explain that an early diagnosis can provide more options for treatment, planning, and maintaining independence longer. Emphasize that it’s about staying in control of their future.

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Be Patient and Persistent:

• Don’t force the issue. If they refuse initially, give it time and bring it up again later. Sometimes it takes multiple conversations.
• Pick the right moment. Choose a time when they are calm and in a good mood to discuss the evaluation.

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Consider a Memory Clinic or Specialist: These settings are often more comfortable and less intimidating.

Use a Health Crisis as a Catalyst: If there has been a recent health scare or concerning event(e.g., getting lost, forgetting important things) use it as a reason to get checked.

Make It a Joint Effort: Suggest that both of you go for evaluations. Framing it as a shared activity can make them feel less singled out.

If resistance continues despite your efforts, you may need to consult a healthcare professional for further advice. In some cases, involving legal guardianship or powers of attorney may become necessary, but this is typically a last resort. More tools and resources are available for family caregivers of those with dementia at Mosaic Caregiving Solutions. Visit us at mosaic-solutions.co.

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